Lifestyle

Misconceptions…

August 8, 2017
Nigerian Lifestyle Blog, Nigerian Beauty Blog, Nigerian Fashion Blog, Ankara inspiration, Gingerlie Lifestyle

Happy new month guys!

Welcome back to my blog.

I miss blogging writing. Lately, I’ve been more focused on “creating content” than actually sharing my thoughts and inspiration. I got to vlog my last weekend (actually 2 weekends ago) and I’m quite impressed with what I put together. I see myself doing this for a long time because it’s something I truly enjoy with or without the audience. I’ve secretly considered doing this full time. (Dear Lord, please don’t let my boss see this please. LOL). Don’t get me wrong, I love my job.

Anyways, today I decided to share 2 big misconceptions about relationships (In my opinion) I would also appreciate it if you guys let me know below what other misconceptions you know. If you follow me on snapchat @dvpe_s, you would probably know that i’m no longer a single pringle like some of y’all 😛 🙂 so if you’re still reading this post I’m passed that stage of my life…not that I’m married, but i’m in a very happy place right now.

3 big misconceptions about relationships

So, over the course of this relationship, I’ve heard all sorts from people, both online and people I know personally. In fact let me streamline it to Nigerians. I’m a bit worried about this mindset and I thought I should share my thought’s as well as see what you all have to say about this.

1. You “Just Know” When he’s Right for you, You will have that “peace”.

I was chatting with a friend last night and she also talked about having that “peace”. Yea…I quite agree with that but one thing I know for sure is that love is a choice, and you can choose to make a relationship work or not. I think one of the biggest misconceptions about love is that you “just know” when you find the “right one.” That mindset seems a bit too convenient, It takes off all responsibility of paying attention to the right or wrong things. Just my opinion, what do you think?

Someone shared this with me and I agree “In my opinion, that feeling of ‘peace’ or ‘knowing’ can change. There are times when I’ve met someone that I ‘knew’ was the one! I could swear that I felt ‘peace’ about it too….but down the line, over time, events occur…and everything changes. So…I ? agree that it’s down to the CHOICE. Its about choosing someone, and choosing to make it work with that person.”

2. you need to be compatible for the relationship to work;

Last time I checked my dictionary Compatibility means “to be able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict.” or in realistic terms “to be able to exist or occur together with LIMITED problems or conflict.”

Regardless of how I tweak this definition, I still have some problems with it. What if two people from extremely different backgrounds love each other and are determined to make it work regardless?

I’m not ruling out compatibility off the checklist but I do think Love is Key (and I’m emphasizing on the Love of Christ). If the two parties truly love each other and are determined to make it work, that will solve most of the problem…I think. Again, I’d love to hear what you guys have to say.

This post was inspired by a Video SISI YEMMIE put up a few months back. I will insert it below.

You guys should let me know what you think below. I’m curious.

SO, I have to rush off to work, I did not have time to edit my picture. Sigh! ( I will definitely change it later)

The dress is by @SIIMONA

Shoe by @LIKAVOGUE

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8 Comments

  • Reply Makafui August 9, 2017 at 1:10 am

    I’ve learnt Love is a CHOICE to ACTIVELY care about a person… once that is in place, points 2 and 3 will be taken care of…stay blessed??

    • Reply Dupe August 9, 2017 at 10:51 am

      Thank you for your comment Makafui.

  • Reply Shalom August 8, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    well I don’t really think compatibility is so overrated, to an extent is not, especially when you want to settle down with your partner. There are five different ways you can access your partner spiritually, physically, mentally, financially and emotionally. Take for example being compatible spiritually the Bible says do not be unequally yoked with unbeliever, will you say because I love him/her I don’t care I will settle with him/her we love and understand each other, trust me it will get to a point that both of you can’t handle this aspect anymore and crisis will surely arise , it will only take the grace of God to handle and manage the situation. What of emotionally before the relationship he/she is sooo emotionally unstable, you are aware that this relationship will really hurt you if you push on and at the end you guys move on to the next level you finally get your heart broken or your marriage becomes a battle field. What else can we say you are both incompatible from the start . What of mentally hmmmm my dear I have seen a marriage where the husband no go school and his wife is a literate, at first his wife taught it was cool he will understand me and I will understand him now they are married her husband has stopped her from work and practically wants to bring her sooo down to his level, this issue has lingered on for so long. There is so much to explain in compatibility test, I don’t think we should remove it completely. It might be overrated to some but somehow U gatz check well oooo. Lol

    • Reply Dupe August 9, 2017 at 10:52 am

      Thanks so much Shalom. I agree with you.

  • Reply Ladyromford August 8, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    Number one the peace Matter
    I understand your anxiety about the peace because I did not get it until I felt it. And No it is not one mind blowing, uncontrollable, woozy “holy ghost sth” LOL! At least for me it wasn’t. It was Just a certainty that I was making a decision that may not be perfect but one that I could defend and live with.
    It is not necessarily a peace you can explain but i’d love to liken it to your choice in buying a dress you could look through many dresses and maybe see some you like, some you sorta like, some that are almost perfect and if you bought those ones it wouldn’t be a bad choice but then you are still looking .
    Then you see “the dress” it perfectly suits your person its not necessarily conventional and you cannot explain why that dress is the dress to anyone (it may or may not be a trending style) but you know and will defend your decision to buy it. I hat to say love is a dress but i was just trying to explain what I felt.
    2. I think compatibility is overrated
    3. All men do not cheat…

    • Reply Dupe August 8, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      wow! thanks so much Ladyromford. You just opened my eyes to a whole new perspective. I think I understand better because you used a “dress” to explain it LOOL. Thank you Thank you

  • Reply Sola Fgabemi August 8, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Hahahaha … don’t quit your job please (I still like seeing your face every day at the office)
    1. “please what peace?” LOOL
    In all honesty, I feel like there is actually this peace that comes with being with the right person. I’d just compare it with the Bible (as I always do lol) God is Love and there is a peace that does come with knowing God/Love and if we’re made in the image of God somehow-somehow we are also Love. So when you meet Love, there definitely has to be a certain type of ‘Peace/Joy’ that comes with it.

    2. From what I think, You need to have some form of synergy to make things work. There will always be conflict but it shouldn’t be as frequent, if it is maybe you can question the relationship. I think that the important thing about conflicts in relationships is the degree to which the 2 parties want to make it work.

    3. Funny stuff is today I was thinking about how “Girls will always be Girls” and “Boys will always be boys” but I believe that not all men cheat.

    • Reply Dupe August 8, 2017 at 11:59 am

      Haha! Sola this is an epistle! thanks for your comment dear. I also like seeing your face at the office. Yea I agree! in number 2, I just think sometimes, too much emphasis is being placed on being compatible that people start looking for Mr/Mrs Perfect.

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