Dealing with imperfections

This post is probably going to be the most personal post I’ve written this year. So sit back, enjoy, learn but please don’t judge. I’m writing all about dealing with imperfections

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Have you ever been confronted about something you’re guilty of? perhaps a flaw in your character that seems to over shadow every other good thing about you?

I know everyone has flaws but I always wonder how people deal with theirs. Please share with me below. How do you deal with your’s?

Recently, someone bluntly told me of a particular flaw he had observed in me overtime. I did not accept it at first. but after reflecting back, I realized it’s actually a big flaw because it has affected major relationships with people. The interesting thing is I never saw it the way the person put it. after all, I always had good intentions in my heart but somehow it translated to a not-so-good intention.

I spoke to my husband about it and he didn’t see me that way at all! I asked several times to be sure, but he gave me the same response each time. In fact he thought I was the opposite.

So I thought I’ll share with you my thoughts on dealing with imperfections.

1. Your imperfections reflect the most in your relationship with people. So you really need to be careful and wise with the people you let into your life. Surround yourself with the right people. You are not designed to relate with everyone the exact same way. Not everyone will understand you so don’t try too hard to be close to everyone. Personally I have let my guard down on soo many levels. I’ve been friends and “close friends” with many people, I’ve had deep conversations and even opened up to people who clearly don’t know me long enough to understand me…and the result was scary.

Don’t be a people pleaser, don’t be bothered about what people think about you. My idea of a good relationship is one where you can be yourself and be accepted,and corrected with love, as opposed to one where you are not being corrected at all but silently judged. Relationships should be two sided and make both parties better. What’s your definition of an ideal relationship?

Remember I mentioned earlier that my husband didn’t notice that particular flaw in me. It goes to show that you are different things to different people, so while some people see your flaws more clearly, there are other people who see the best part of you more.

2. People will always talk: So, I know people always talk, but if different sets of people are saying the same (negative) thing about you, then there is most likely a truth in that. Pay attention to the verbal and non verbal communication and once again, APPLY WISDOM.

3. Flee from judgement and condemnation: It’s bad enough that you’re struggling with a flaw, you really don’t need any extra pressure. It’s important to acknowledge your flaws,learn from your mistakes and strive to be better daily. But It is even more important to guard your mind from people’s judgements. The truth is most flaws are inherited, it could be as a result of your upbringing or associations, either ways, people don’t even try to understand why you are the way you are, they just judge regardless.

It is easy for people to label you and have a mindset towards you but it’s not in your place to try to convince them otherwise. That’s why I talk about purposeful living a lot, If you are living for God then you will most likely feel less pressured to please human beings because the truth is regardless of what you do, there will be people who will get offended. nobody is perfect, don’t be tricked into believing that you are worse off than others.

4. New beginnings; Every day is an opportunity to start again. To believe the best about yourself and strive to be better towards others. Keep putting in effort. The results might not show immediately but someday it will pay off. Even if you feel like everyone has given up on you, you can’t afford to give up on yourself. I know it hurts when people give up on you…I’ve been there, but use that to fuel yourself to be better.

You know I won’t end this post without speaking about God, but I do believe that above all things,we need to keep feeding on Gods word daily. do you know that regardless of what you do, the adversary will always have a legal right to sink you? but when God is on your side, you are victorious! His grace is always sufficient. There have been times where I’ve felt misunderstood and judged. Lost my confidence and curled up into my shell and reacted terribly to those around me. Eventually, I had to take a decision to make God my final authority, so I no longer try to get approval from people (even the ones I used to look up to) I realize that everyone has different perspectives so there’s really no point trying to please people.

I’m extremely grateful to those who have stuck by my side through thick and thin, and not just when it was convenient for them. Thank you

And to those who’ve given up on me? Thank you for giving me an opportunity to reflect on myself.

This is one long post!!! hubby is literally carrying me to bed with my laptop in my hands! LOOL

I would really love to read your comments. Please share tips below. Thank you!!! and thanks for all the support so far!

Read my previous post here

27 Comments
  1. Awesome post Dupe…. I usually would say this “when they love you, they correct you when they don’t, they talk to everyone about your problems but you”.

    We should strive to be God-pleasers and not people-pleasers, truth be told God sees the whole book, people just seee a chapter and they judge based on limited info. I recently saw a post on social media that said “if you know how quickly people forget the dead, you wouldn’t live your life to please them. Yes! We have flaws but we shouldn’t focus so much on our flaws, we see nothing else but it Because whatever we focus on magnifies, we aren’t oblivious of the flaws oo we just don’t feed the flaw… once again nice write up, I needed this. 💯💯💯💯

  2. This is so relatable. I remember when a friend of mine pointed out a flaw in a very outrageous manner and I was really hurt. I started an article ‘perfectly flawed’ but I decided against it for fear that it was just borne out of the anger and resentment I had started to feel. These are the things I’ve learnt so far
    1. To think you won’t get on people’s nerve and vice versa is not true….we all think differently.
    2. if you see a flaw in your friend that hurts you, correct in love or find a way to embrace it or let go of the friendship of it hurts that bad
    3. above all, keep learning to walk in the Love of Christ.

    Thank you for the great reminder you’ve shared. More grace to you.

  3. Nice post. We all have flaws and characters that have chased people away or made people to really not understand the way we are truly.

    It’s really hard accepting your flaws and unseen characters, but when you do that, that’s the first step to improving in yourself not just to draw people back but just for yourself and people that really love you.

    I had a lot of flaws that was really hurting people around me and it was hard for me to understand y I couldn’t keep friends but I didn’t care about that. When someone told me about it. I felt bad, not so good hearing you have a character that pushes people. I had to reflect and understand that I do have that flaw. So I tried making myself conscious of my character so as not to hurt people. It sort of worked for me cos I’m used to it and when I come to the fruition that I’m in that mode I just switch it off. We can’t really change ourselves but we can adjust.
    Eddy

  4. You hit it home with me where you said ‘if you are living for God then you then you will most likely not feel pressured to please human beings’. I definitely concur. We all have our imperfections but getting closer everyday to God sheds the continuous search for validation from outside and aids contentment with who we are more than that, helps us become better, especially selflessly. I appreciate this post.

  5. Great post……very very accurate my love, one thing am so sure of is that no man is perfect except God. Just like you said different people have their own opinion(s) about you, the good people will come to you and tell you your flaws to your face and you can either reflect on your life to see how true it is, accept it and amend if true or ignore if not. Dealing with imperfections includes
    1. Gratitude (appreciate the fellow that walked up to you and told you your flaws because they like you to do that).
    2. By God’s grace…..if you know you know….we are humans and only by his grace can we be able to perfect our imperfection.
    3. Accepting changes (you alone can change yourself. Hence, embrace new beginning tho it can be very challenging but it is worth it).
    Nice piece Dupsy.

  6. Great post……very very accurate my love, one thing am so sure of is that no man is perfect except God. Just like you said different people have their own opinion(s) about you, the good people will come to you and tell you your flaws to your face and you can either reflect on your life to see how true it is, accept it and amend if true or ignore if not. Dealing with imperfections includes
    1. Gratitude (appreciate the fellow that walked up to you and told you your flaws because they like you to do that).
    2. By God’s grace…..if you know you know….we are humans and only by his grace can we be able to perfect our imperfection.
    3. Accepting changes (you alone can change yourself. Hence, embrace new beginning tho it can be very challenging but it is worth it).
    Nice piece Dupsy.

  7. First of all great post……very very accurate my love, secondly, one thing am so sure of is that no man is perfect except God. Just like you said different people have their own opinion(s) about you, the good people will come to you and tell you your flaws to your face and you can either reflect on your life to see how true it is, accept it and amend if true or ignore if not.
    Therefore, dealing with imperfection includes 1. gratitude (be grateful to that fellow that saw your flaws and told you because they like you to do that….trust me). 2. God’s grace. 3. Accepting changes ( trying a totally new thing in life can be difficult but only you can change yourself, hence embrace new beginning……………this can be very challenging tho…..Nice one Dupsy

  8. Sound words and I like that you tried to be objective in your assessment of yourself and your advice. I also see that you wanted to be personal with this post but because you did not share what the supposed flaw was, I feel like my expectation of reading something personal from you was not quite met and I do understand that sharing personal issues isn’t an easy thing but a gradual process so take care and keep sharing the much you can cause I still learnt something.

  9. People will always judge. What i always say is live your best life the way you know how to, afterall there is no manual to life. Everyother person will fall in line. It took me a long time to accept me n what i consider my flaws. I am only human but i have learned to love myself in a way no one else can and trust me nothing can break you after that. I have more confidence now.
    As for working on one’s flaws, its all part of self development. Do what you can for you not just for others.

  10. People will always judge. What i always say is live your best life the way you know how to, afterall there is no manual to life. Everyother person will fall in line. It took me a long time to accept me n what i consider my flaws. I am only human but i have learned to love myself in a way no one else can and trust me nothing can break you after that. I have more confidence now.
    As for working on one’s flaws, its all part of self development. Do what you can for you not just for others.

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