This post is probably going to be the most personal post I’ve written this year. So sit back, enjoy, learn but please don’t judge.
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Have you ever been confronted about something you’re guilty of? perhaps a flaw in your character that seems to over shadow every other good thing about you?
I know everyone has flaws but I always wonder how people deal with theirs. Please share with me below. How do you deal with your’s?
Recently, someone bluntly told me of a particular flaw he had observed in me overtime. I did not accept it at first. but after reflecting back, I realized it’s actually a big flaw because it has affected major relationships with people. The interesting thing is I never saw it the way the person put it. after all, I always had good intentions in my heart but somehow it translated to a not-so-good intention.
I spoke to my husband about it and he didn’t see me that way at all! I asked several times to be sure, but he gave me the same response each time. In fact he thought I was the opposite.
So I thought I’ll share with you my thoughts on dealing with imperfections.
1. Your imperfections reflect the most in your relationship with people. So you really need to be careful and wise with the people you let into your life. Surround yourself with the right people. You are not designed to relate with everyone the exact same way. Not everyone will understand you so don’t try too hard to be close to everyone. Personally I have let my guard down on soo many levels. I’ve been friends and “close friends” with many people, I’ve had deep conversations and even opened up to people who clearly don’t know me long enough to understand me…and the result was scary.
Don’t be a people pleaser, don’t be bothered about what people think about you. My idea of a good relationship is one where you can be yourself and be accepted,and corrected with love, as opposed to one where you are not being corrected at all but silently judged. Relationships should be two sided and make both parties better. What’s your definition of an ideal relationship?
Remember I mentioned earlier that my husband didn’t notice that particular flaw in me. It goes to show that you are different things to different people, so while some people see your flaws more clearly, there are other people who see the best part of you more.
2. People will always talk: So, I know people always talk, but if different sets of people are saying the same (negative) thing about you, then there is most likely a truth in that. Pay attention to the verbal and non verbal communication and once again, APPLY WISDOM.
3. Flee from judgement and condemnation: It’s bad enough that you’re struggling with a flaw, you really don’t need any extra pressure. It’s important to acknowledge your flaws,learn from your mistakes and strive to be better daily. But It is even more important to guard your mind from people’s judgements. The truth is most flaws are inherited, it could be as a result of your upbringing or associations, either ways, people don’t even try to understand why you are the way you are, they just judge regardless.
It is easy for people to label you and have a mindset towards you but it’s not in your place to try to convince them otherwise. That’s why I talk about purposeful living a lot, If you are living for God then you will most likely feel less pressured to please human beings because the truth is regardless of what you do, there will be people who will get offended. nobody is perfect, don’t be tricked into believing that you are worse off than others.
4. New beginnings; Every day is an opportunity to start again. To believe the best about yourself and strive to be better towards others. Keep putting in effort. The results might not show immediately but someday it will pay off. Even if you feel like everyone has given up on you, you can’t afford to give up on yourself. I know it hurts when people give up on you…I’ve been there, but use that to fuel yourself to be better.
You know I won’t end this post without speaking about God, but I do believe that above all things,we need to keep feeding on Gods word daily. do you know that regardless of what you do, the adversary will always have a legal right to sink you? but when God is on your side, you are victorious! His grace is always sufficient. There have been times where I’ve felt misunderstood and judged. Lost my confidence and curled up into my shell and reacted terribly to those around me. Eventually, I had to take a decision to make God my final authority, so I no longer try to get approval from people (even the ones I used to look up to) I realize that everyone has different perspectives so there’s really no point trying to please people.
I’m extremely grateful to those who have stuck by my side through thick and thin, and not just when it was convenient for them. Thank you
And to those who’ve given up on me? Thank you for giving me an opportunity to reflect on myself.
This is one long post!!! hubby is literally carrying me to bed with my laptop in my hands! LOOL
I would really love to read your comments. Please share tips below. Thank you!!! and thanks for all the support so far!